When reality becomes unreal

One of my Facebook groups just addressed an issue that will make me think for a long while. I have already thought about this stuff for a long while. When I started gaming eleven years ago it was hard for me to distance myself from the character I played and I couldn’t “steal” stuff from containers in peoples’ houses even when my game designer husband explained that stuff was placed there for the gamer to use. It was a peasant’s life savings for chrissake! It took time to adapt and get rid of that internal safety catch I had. It was the same with killing enemies. It was hard unless I was attacked. Playing an evil character like an assassin or a blackguard was out of the question. It took years to get used to it.

But I got used to it – to a certain extent.

Nowadays I happily snipe bandits in Fallout 3 or Borderlands without feeling any remorse at all. Boom, headshot! I know they are only bits of data and I’m having a good time. The safety catch is off, for these games at least. There are games that are still too realistic. Take S.T.A.L.K.E.R. for instance. It is not a new game. My husband played it until his eyes bled, we watched the films (Stalker and Solaris) and awed over pictures from Pripyat. I got the game, started playing and shooting people and stopped. There was a scene near a train yard and there were lots of enemies around. I maimed one and he started to moan. It was very realistic. I could feel his pain, his fear, his longing for life. I rushed to his side and offered health kits that I had in my pack, but the script of the game didn’t allow me to heal him. He was simply not expected to live. He just lied there, moaning and pleading. At that very moment my safety catch, the one that keeps me from killing people IRL, hit. I couldn’t kill him and I couldn’t continue the game. It was simply too close to home, too realistic, too easy to empathize with.

But Borderlands and Fallout are not and this is the scary part. Drone operating is like playing Borderlands. If it was me, I could probably kill those people and it scares me shitless

Cowboykäk

Vi sitter ju jämt framför datorerna och surfar eller spelar och då faller det sig naturligt att vi också äter en massa där eller blir inspirerade av saker vi ser på skärmen. I Fallout 3 och Fallout New Vegas dräller det överallt av konserver med Pork & Beans och jag tänkte en dag att det skulle man väl kunna göra något av. Basen i det hela är baked beans av bra kvalitet och jag föredrar Heinz. Sedan kan man kombinera efter behag. Klippa ned ett paket bacon, köttbullar, korv eller vad som finns i proteinförrådet och kanske lyxa till det med lök, paprika, chili osv.

Dagens variant tillkom litet på en kvart. Jag har varit sur och taggig hela dagen och nu när klockan är nästan cocktail hour och Älskade Make hade skurat badrummet en lång stund så blev det margaritas. Kan tillägga att undertecknad inte ätit eller druckit något på hela dagen utan bara slavat i tvättstugan. Alltså blev drinken rena åsnesparken och jag blev tvungen att sätta mig ett tag. Men aj, vad glad jag blev och nu vankas det cowboykäk. Dagens variant innehåller wienerkorv, purjo, en strimlad röd paprika, två torkade piri piri ur egen skörd, svartpeppar, koriander och ett stänk tequila (bara för att jag är onykter). Sedan några stänk Heintz chilisås och Hunt’s Original BBQ Sauce. Nej, det blir inte mera tequila idag.

Fortsättning på julkalkonen

Vi började göra fyllningen till kalkonen på julaftons eftermiddag. I Peru äter man vanligtvis mycket sent och är klar vid midnatt då fyrverkerierna börjar. Sedan delar man ut julklappar. Fyllningen är enkel. Man fräser fläskfärs med hackad gul lök, vitlök, salt och peppar. För att få litet sötma lägger man i en näve russin. Sedan fyller man pippin med detta och hivar in den i ugnen. Innan dess hade jag penslat den med litet marinad och lönnsirap för att få den där läckra guldgula färgen. Ett trick som jag anammat från Nigella.

En kalkon på 4,7 kilo behövde två timmar i 150 grader för att bli klar.

Serverad på peruanskt vis med ris. Sallad glömde vi tyvärr bort. Vi är just inga grönsaksätare.

Som tur var tjuvstartade vi med julklappsutdelningen. Efter den bastanta kalkonmiddagen hade jag nog inte orkat. Det var massor med paket, vi turades om att vara tomte och alla rim lästes upp. Förutom expansionen till Borderlands fick jag ett nytt fantasy RGP, Dragon Age, av Älskade Make. Det påminner en del i stilen on NWN1 men har snyggare grafik. Jag har inte kommit så långt i det ännu så jag vet inte hur öppen världen är. Om man kan larva runt överallt som i Oblivion eller om det är snitslade banor som i t. ex. Dungeon Siege. Vi får se.

Jag fick även en vacker handduk med svanmotiv av min kära svärmor och ett hett åtrått doftljus från våra gäster. Av Per fick jag böcker. Han vet ju att jag älskar böcker över allt annat. Det blev två spelguider, en till Dragon Age och en till Fallout 3. Han vet att jag gillar V for Vendetta så han skaffade mig boken av Alan Moore och David Lloyd som filmen bygger på. En del av Anita Blake, The Laughing Corpse i serieform följde också med. Böckerna finns hos den där seriespecialisten på Stora Nygatan i Gamla Stan. Glömmer jämt vad den heter. Sedan köpte Per två böcker till på hugskott och jag tror att de är lyckträffar. Jag har alltid dyrkat Carl Sagan och nu fick jag The Demon-Haunted World. Det skall bli fantastiskt spännande att läsa den. Jag ser också fram emot att sätta tänderna i The Next Fifty Years, science in the first half of the twenty-first century. En samling essäer från ledande forskare editerad av John Brockman. Det kommer att bli mycket läsande denna vinter. Underbart! Om vi någonsin flyttar från vår lägenhet (knappast troligt) så skall den nya lyan absolut ha ett bibliotek. Ett riktigt ett med bokhyllor längs alla väggarna och sköna fåtöljer eller en soffa i skinn. Önska kan man ju alltid göra. Både billigt och roligt och det gör faktiskt inget om det inte slår in. Vi har det så bra som vi har det.
Avslutar med en av de mest hjärtslitande filmer jag vet. Pale Blue Dot av och med Carl Sagan.

Free Radical

My beloved knows that I’m a great fan of System Shock II. He also knows that I’m sometimes bored at work while waiting for the incoming snailmail. So he sent me the link to Free Radical by Shamus Young.

It’s a great story. I’ve always wondered what took place before the start of the SS2 game. I’m also touched by the author’s humbleness and generosity. The classic Internet. Free for all to share and enjoy. Share something today and you risk getting sued right into next week. I’m not even halfway through the online story, but I’m already itching to start SS2 all over again and play as a technical expert with a lot of PSI.

Brigitte

Brigitte is my second Oblivion character. When I created her I wanted somebody totally different from Skade who is very down to earth. So I created a bombshell. She is Breton so she needed a French name. Brigitte Bardot came to mind and Brigitte it is.

Brigitte is all fun flirt and fashion. She loves attention and has no sense whatsoever when it comes to money. When levelling she favors skills that boost her personality and charm so those are maxed already. Now she plans to invest a bit more in illusion training to further her grasp over people in general and men in particular. She has no pet as she wants all attention for herself, but she might consider the adoring fan if she decides to do the arena quest. After all, she loves to be adored.

Brigitte likes to have fun and surround herself with beautiful things and garments. She flirts a lot and likes to have men fawn all over her. She joined the Thieve’s Guild, but doesn’t shoplift much. She likes the thrill of bartering too much and the feeling of buying something beautiful for herself.
Here she is charming the ears off poor Maro Rufus at Best Defense. Brigitte wears the snowfur outfit that she just bought from him using a Fortify Mercantile 100 pts spell on herself and a charm spell on him. Poor sod. 🙂

My First Oblivion Doll

When my husband got me the game I thought I’d just create a char and fool around with her for an hour or two. I mean, I was so hooked on Morrowind and planned to at least complete half of the main quest before starting the new Elder Scrolls game. Yeah, right. I’m still obsessed and has been so since Day 1.

I had long thought about creating a character that was true to my own nordic background and heritage. Searching the old Nordic mythology gave me Skade, the beautiful godess of winter, skiers and hunters. I intended her to be a warrior/ranger type specializing in archery. She turned out quite good. As I’m not a fanatic RPG player in the respect that everything my character does has to be according to her role, she’s got the basics from my own personality (loves alchemy, wild pets, the great outdoors while being a bit of a fashionista at the same time) and the the rest from the idea I have of the role per se. Thus, Skade is a great fighter and adventurer who wears her daedric armor like a second skin, but as soon as she comes back home she drops it and slips into something more stylish. I took a pic of her in full armour in the mountains close to Bruma. Bow at the ready and Grace, her pet mountain lion, close by awaiting her mistresse’s orders.

Here she is in her Anvil house. She’s wearing her favourite blue velvet dress. Very Lady of the Manor. 🙂

Playing With Dolls

That’s what it is really. Playing RPGs, mean. I create a character, dress her in various kinds of armour and weaponry and then I play with her. If there’s a house for sale I buy it and furnish it. When my char is at home she drops her armour and slips into something more comfortable. What’s that if not playing with dolls.

About Gaming

When I met my husband-to-be he worked hard as a reviewer. He gave me Shadows of Undrentide, an expansion of Bioware’s Neverwinter Nights, to play and the addiction was instantaneous. I have played it three tims with my main character, Akela, a half-elf Druid/Fighter/Weapon Master. My main char is always named Akela, which is also used to be my favorite internet nick. I have recently started to use the nick Cougar as I find that more appropriate. Yeah, I have a young husband. Sue me.

Noticing that I loved fantasy but hated anything that looked even slightly childish or had poor graphics, my husband introduced me to Morrowind. So I was stuck again. I created a Khajiit, whom I trained in melee weapons and alchemy. I got tired of him after a while and created Miko, a human asian beauty who loves flowers and learns anything she can about herbalogy and alchemy. She is also a merciless assassin. When I started started her I was unsure about her development character-wise. As a new gamer it was hard for me to alienate my characters too much from what I personally thought and felt so I couldn’t play hard-core evil characters. Chaotic good was an alignment that I felt more comfortable with. Now, after more than 5 years of serious gaming I have learned to distance myself enough from my characters to be able to play both thieves and brutal bandits.

Morrowind was followed by Dungeon Siege. I wasn’t too happy about the map, but the story was good and I had quite fun with it. Unfortunately I saved the game in the worst possible spot and got stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have restarted it with a new character, but got tired of it for some reason. The same has happened with Guild Wars. Guild Wars is my first MMORPG and I started playing it during the alpha test. Continued with all the beta test events and my husband gave me a pre-ordered copy for Christmas 2004. I played it until my eyes bled. I don’t remember how or why I got tired of it, but I haven’t touched it for more than a year.

Somewhere bewteen Dungeon Siege and Guild Wars I bought Sacred. I built a Vampiress character, had a lot of fun and got tired of it all before beating the main quest. Somehow I never seem to beat the main quest. The only games I have really completed so far are the NWN series. There is something about open RPG:s that make me want to stay in them, explore everything and let the character go about his/her life. Why end a good thing, sort of.

The current obsession is Oblivion.  My husband got it first and at the time I was deep into Morrowind with Miko doing fairly well with her Morag Tong career and her lovely Japanese house off Vivec. I didn’t care much for the new game, but decided to give a 30 minute’s try when hubby was busy on the Xbox with GTA or whatever. Those 30 minutes are still ongoing and I’m completely absorbed with the vastness and beauty of Oblivion. I have played it on an almost daily basis since it’s launch and have a large family of Oblivion characters. All of them with different personalities, skills and ambitions. It’s nice. Just like playing with dolls when I was little.